There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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