Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
