We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
