I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
