Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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