Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
