Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
