I want to have your abortion
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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