I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
