he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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