Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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