Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
