Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
