Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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