I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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