i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
