True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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