420 ftw
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
