And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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