also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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