I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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