Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
