I don't think brook has ever known best
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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