so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
