In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
