Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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