Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
