Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
