see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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