Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
