winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
