Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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