So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I checked into jail on foursquare
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
