It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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