i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
