You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
