Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
