Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize