i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
