I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
