Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
