so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
