But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
