i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My pussy is not your playground.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
