did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize