Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
40s are totally the cure
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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