I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
