omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
