I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
