No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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