So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
