I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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