I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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