As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
there is glitter all over my balls
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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