i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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