he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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