Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
