Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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