Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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