The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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