Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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