Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
