So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
