My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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