is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
