My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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