Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
