I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
